November 2010
3 posts
Things I wish I would've said when I was being...
Boss: We can tell you’re not very fired up about the job
Me: Oh man, you’re right. I wonder what’s wrong with me? I mean, so many exciting things about this job. Let’s see there’s
Watching flashing objects and videos of animals on dual LCD monitors, fighting the urge to fall asleep
Retesting extremely heavy, poorly designed products as a “favor to the...
Sometimes academia is retarded
Giving my resume a long overdue overhaul and writing about my summer 2004 research experience. I’m not really sure wtf I did the whole time. I think ideally my advisor would have had me compare his method of quantifying randomness to someone elses. But someone (probably me) grossly underestimated the time it would take to compute a number from 300 MB of data. I mean literally, my...
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The most retarded job posting I've seen all day
Note: this is for the position of “Medical Device Product Development Engineer”. In case you were thinking of trying your hand at an Engineering job without actually knowing what they do…Here ya go:
Math Ability:
Ability to apply advanced mathematical concepts such as exponents, logarithms, quadratic equations, and permutations.
I aced Differential Equations, but man were...
October 2010
18 posts
philolzophy asked: Y don't u accept comments? Just wanna initiate a blog bang.
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My tip to the alt report got published to hro: I...
Sometimes I wonder ‘what the fuck am I doin with my life’? Recently I was housesitting for my Aunt, takin her kids to school/extracurriculars while her & my uncle are on vacation. OUt in the suburbs. Feel so beaten down by lameness. Had hopes that I would spend mad time findin buzzworthy mp3s for my ‘webblog’ [via not havin my musical instruments/friends that wanna...
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Humorous reference hypothetically irl (hirl)
Saw this dude with a shaved bald head that bore some semblance to the lead singer of Midnight Oil. I thought to myself how much I would enjoy being a situation where he would ask me “Do you have any questions?” To which I would respond “Yes. How do you sleep while the beds are burning?”
Straight v. Gay, Quantified
Let’s start with straight. Geez the only bands that made the cloud are Queens of the Stoneage and Van Halen. I guess it’s like the “Fuck you hipsters” guy said “if I wanna listen to Van Halen, I’ll listen to fuckin Van Halen”. ”Tom Clancy”? ”Golf”?
Let’s see about the girls. Not even the mention of one band. Unless...
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Ok Cupid rant
Why can’t I be looking for casual sex and allowed to contact you? How do you conclude that, because casual sex is one thing I would consider…that that is my primary motivation of contacting you? Who are you to fucking judge me? Tell me that I’m not allowed to contact you because I’m willing to accept a situation where I don’t have to: get to know “her”...
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"Step In Wolfmother" a n3tspe4k adapt8n by Azamalt...
Hi yall. I’m the regional manager 4 word press. Sounds impressive but after the conversion from internet dollars 2 reals theres just enough 2 pay 4 rent, food, and an occasional concert ticket 2 a ‘tier 1’ ‘indie’ band [via Vampy Weeks of Leon End]. Neways, as a result I share sum industrial space in Billyburg with some effing hipsters. Gawd I h8 them sooo much....
HIPSTER RUNOFF ANONYMOUS MEETING #1 →
culturalterrorist:
CARLES: Hello people, we are going to start the meeting now. Lets go around the circle and say our names and why we’re here. I’ll start. My names is CARLES, I had nowhere to vent so I made HRO, now I can’t stop posting articles or rants because I’m addicted to getting the comments and reading…
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Quit it! Weezer offered $10 M to call it quits -... →
I wanna party with this guy!
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September 2010
14 posts
Anonymous asked: nono want to make blog 2. will u nudge me in?
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Announcing HRO FAIL, HROF 1
I’ve decided that I will start curating ‘when HRO commenting goes wrong’. Here is my very first HROF. You’ll look back on this day with pride, knowing that you were a part of something. Without further ado, the comment:
HereComesTheNativeAmericanApparel
“‘Cause I’m CARLES, yes I’m the real CARLES All you other CARLES are just imitating So won’t the real CARLES please...
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Lessons learned re: partyin
Well, this weekend I learned that there is no point in holding back on the drinking because you expect to ‘get some ‘work’ done’ when you go home. Friday I planned to cut myself off after the free drink period ended at The Phoenix, where Miami Horror played. But those ended up best laid to waste plans when this photographer started talking to me and I subsequently got 2...
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Cat climbs tree hoping to catch bird
The neatest thing I saw today was this cat that was stalking a bird. At first it was just perched on a ledge, twitching it’s tail annoyedly with it’s eyes glancing up. I realized that it must be eyeing some creature. Not too interested at this point I resumed my workout. After finishing the next set I gazed out the window once more to see the cat was now making it’s way up...
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How ironic is your t-shirt collection?
Well folks recently it was Sep 11th and I wore the most ironic t-shirt I have in my collection for two reasons. One, it was clean. Two, I just ‘wasnt feelin’ any of the other shirts in my wardrobe. But it got me thinking .o(is there a hierarchy of irony when it comes to t-shirts?) The other thing that prompted me to answer this question is some convo on the facebooks where some...